His Wings

It was when her world came crashing down, I first met Claudia. I found myself immediately on the ground, replaying instantaneously the noise of her face hitting the pavement. Emma hovered in the corner of the building behind me watching uncomfortably. Everything ceased as I stared into the face of this sweet older woman. Her eye scraped by the cement, her mouth already swollen and bleeding.

As unfortunate as the moment had been for Claudia, it was a perfect representation of a message I had learned just hours earlier: Huddled on the hay with Emma & Jack in our chicken class, I listen as our teacher reminds us that we are covered by His wings. She beautifully illustrates a mother hen, protecting her baby chicks who remain warmed and comforted by her wings & feathers. As much protection that this hen gives, her babies can still be snatched, with force, from her grip.

But with our God, no matter what in life crashes down, whatever we have to endure in the moments, whether physical hurt and discomfort, embarrassment, betrayal, and disappointment, we are covered by His Wings, where nothing can harm or destroy.

He will cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
Psalm 91:4

Let everything that has breath (and gas!) praise the LORD

What She Gave

We are laying in bed and I am tearful. She asks about our "friend." We have learned about her by way of the internet. I have to tell Emma that our friend has gone to be with Jesus in heaven. Emma is awestruck. I tell her that earlier today, she looked like Jesus in her heart. Again, Emma is speechless- she thinks by my words mean that she has received her salvation. Now she is scared. Still too young, she thinks that as soon as she receives her Jesus' salvation, she will go to be with Him. I kiss her forehead and reassure her.

Early in the day, Emma is ready. She is anticipating what she has waited nearly a year for. She is eagerly waiting for her brothers to wake from their naps. She is ready to give her hair away. Almost a year ago, we sat together at the computer and researched. We looked at pictures of young girls without hair, we looked at young girls affected by this terrible cancer. And she wants to help.

On the way home, she is insistent to call one of her dear friends:

Sydney, I cut off my hair.
I cut my hair for a little girl who doesn't have any...
Yes, I did!
When you see me, you won't know me...
Want to tell your mom?

Emma is so proud. And rightly so, she has earned her joy. She has given up what many are hesitant too. And she didn't hesitate. She insists she will start the process again.

Celebrating Earth Day the Jerrolds Way

Woke up and ate breakfast together.
Got ready.
Donned lots of sunscreen.
Prepared to leave for our Earth Day field trip.
Unplugged the hot iron, for once.
Prayed holding hands,
with truck running.
Left the coffee pot on.
Drove 40 miles, in our truck,
over hills,
at 13 mpg,
to a local working farm.
Chatted with chickens and children.
Pulled rocks from the garden.
Use wood chips to build a pathway.
Climbed in and on the wood chips.
Cried because the wood chips invaded our shoes and poked our feet.
Drank water from plastic sippy cups.
Admired a baby drinking from a stainless steel sippy.
Headed toward home, with the air conditioning on.
Ate granola.
Drove through drive-thru.
Received five meals, in five consumable bags and five paper cups, with straws.
Gave the blessings apples.
Cleaned up spit out apple parts.
Traded apples for suckers.
Bathed dirty bodies in the middle of the day.
Wiped snotty noses with clean towels.
Dressed in new clothes.
Washed towels and dirty clothes.
Turned on the fan.
Napped.
With the fan on.
Made cottage cheese & spinach lasagna.
Blessings picked the basil for the bread.
Threw out the plastic toys for the day.
Drew silly faces on our chins, instead.

Blessings

I had my feelings hurt tonight by a stranger. Not uncommon for me, as I can get offended by a bad driver. But this time, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up in anger.
We are dining at a local Thai restaurant. I love taking my blessings out to try different ethnic foods and it has always been rewarding. Tonight the blessings are their usual selves- impulsive, giggly, playful... children. We get our usual stares from a group of two middle-aged women. But this time, they are more vocal about the presence of our children. They ask for their food to go, drawing attention to themselves, all while indicating that it is way too loud in restaurant.
Although my children are normal children, they are not unruly and disrespectful. How can they ever know that my Emma is so clever and brave, she will fight criminals by putting her fingers up her nose and blowing? And although, Jack's favorite word may be currently booty butt, he loves His God. He will sit later in the evening, begging to hear Mighty to Save, boldly singing the words: Savior, He can move the mountains, My GOD is mighty to Save... Will, despite that he is vocal about his wants, he can nurse a smile from anyone with his new-found sly looks.
Every morning of the week, we gather as a family of five to spend time at the throne of our Lord. We pray together, the blessings as much as Roy & I. We sing together praises to our King. We learn and recite His Word together.
These are my children. They may cause heads to turn, may turn a quiet evening into an unruly night, may be loud and playful, and may use inappropriate language at times. But, they are children. Children who love and seek after our God already. I am overwhelmingly impressed with the servants they are becoming.

Jesus called them back.
"Let these children alone. Don't get between them and me. These children are the kingdom's pride and joy. Luke 18:16

Change

In the last two days, Jack's head has changed dramatically. Yesterday, he awoke with a full head of hair. Hair that was so perfect and thick, sculpting a perfect faux-hawk was effortless. As the day wore on, it also unwound. Roy loaded up (moody) Jack & (crabby) Will, in a feeble attempt to go to Home Depot for some, well, Home Depot things. The perfect piece of bubble gum in Jack's mouth, apparently, became the perfect hair accessory. The truck veered quickly toward the barber shop, where the time was spent with razors and clippers, instead of measuring tape and wood.

Later, the entire house reeks with continual chaotic fits. Jack is sitting with his newly shaved head, shirtless, hands stuffed in his sweats, lounging back on the couch like a seasoned couch potato. All three children have made a day of complaining and whining, Will seasoned in the art, just as much as Emma and Jack.

A new day, a new morning rises and the outlook is good. Our family gathers for prayer. Emma asks to pray. She praises her God for creating her family. She boasts to Him that she loves us "so much." She thanks Him for being The Creator. And she doesn't forget to give thanks for His help.
Jack follows, thanking his God for all of his friends and his God's help.

It is in this small moment, gathered in our small kitchen, that I realize the enormity of the moment. As confusing and horrible as yesterday may have been, my children's lives change every day. As much work as it is, the metamorphosis that occurs within each of us, is so important. We are all molding our lives daily to follow our God.

Jack's head will eventually take on a new form, when he bumps his head on the steps of the play structure at the park. This time the shape of his forehead will enlarge at least two inches long, and will swell to his nose. His head will look as though the front of his skull has been reshaped.

If you stare long enough outside, you will catch sight of butterflies. They are new to this life of flight, as my blessings will watch in awe. We know the butterfly had a significant journey to becoming this new creature. But the journey stops with new wings. He will never again change into anything new.

We, however, continue to metamorphose. My children will give me chaos one morning, causing me to raise my hands up in agony. Then, the next, they will turn to their Creator and thank Him for being. What a blessing to be part of.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

My Gem

Emma,

I still cannot believe how much we packed into our day. Just the morning alone made up for a week's worth of activities! Jack had his gymnastics class, while you went to the Lego Engineering class. Gymnastics seemed so weird without you there. I kept looking over at your class expecting to see you catch my eyes. Jack was really hyper there today, his only motivation to finish the class was a lollipop he got from Luke for Valentine's.

After class, I dropped Jack off with Papa. In between preparing the Valentine's gifts for our party and preparing to leave to pick you up, I noticed that Brendal had pooped on the ground! Jack was worried at my tone- he was so close to stepping in it, he drug his feet through it! YUK!!! Then, after cleaning it, I walked through Brendal's pee. What an escapade just leaving to pick you up turned out to be. While I was driving, I called Michelle. I looked down at my hand and noticed Brendal's poop all over my hand! It was so gross, Emma! You would have been so grossed out! I screamed into Michelle's ear; I couldn't wipe my hands enough to get them clean.

Going to McDonald's was so rushed, but you and Jack were troopers so we could get to our Valentine's party on time. Jack and you were so excited! I can't believe how many times Jack went up and down that slide. There were so many kids; you had such a fun time. You enjoy yourself with your friends and your brothers. But it was there that I again saw what a precious gem you are. As we were leaving for the party room, you saw Noah running without Amy down the hall. You immediately went for him. And Talia needed her shoes on. You helped without being asked.

When we were swarming in the party room, the children buzzed all around us. The energy was so intense. I couldn't find Jack and another spotted him in front of the goodies. You left my side to help Jack get a cupcake, some other treats and seat him at the table with his friends. Then, you went to go stand back in line. I found you later here, as you were standing in line, looking at the empty plate where the cupcakes used to be. The room stopped. I could neither hear nor see anything but the look of disappointment that washed over your face. It was then, my heart broke. You wanted a cupcake so bad! I promised one later. And then, you moved on. I realize right now as I am writing this to you, my Daughter, my Love, that my heart will break over and over for you. You have amazed me many more times beyond this moment, but this is the one I will cement for you today. What a priveledge I have, that our Creator, has blessed me with. What an honor I have to call you my Daughter. You have a heart of gold, my Princess. You shine with compassion for others. You have made me proud.

I love you to the moon and back.

Mom

The Wedding

Jack is drunk on Diet Coke. He pulls his face as close as it can get to mine, and slurs his words, mumbling something about his Nana. He continues on, leaving my face, making ape-like movements and getting closer and closer to his new found playmate. The children are excited! They are in the midst of the wedding celebration that will reach us quickly tomorrow. They cannot contain their contagious joy.

It's only one o'clock, and Emma begs to wear her flower girl dress. She finally agrees to wait, and immediately gets to work. She helps Nana with the flowers, the bride's mother with the tables, and then she has disappeared. As soon as Amy has arrived, she has gone to be in her proximity. She has found her celebrity.

Emma can't stop spinning. It makes the bottom of her dress look like a lasso. She is on the stage of the Auditorium calling to the boys to dance with her. Later, she dances next to the speakers with her friends, then with her Nathan.

At the reception, Jack continues to search for Amy, enamored by her beauty. When he finally has his princess in his presence, he is insistent on stealing a kiss. Amy graciously leans downs. Jack stretches up his chin and plants one on her lips.
The day after, we are wrestling in our pajamas. Jack's laughter makes me laugh. I beg him to marry me and he immediately declines. Why? I insist. I am going to marry 'Net Amy he responds.

Parrots

We are rounding the corner of the driveway through Taco Bell. My window is down & the air is beautiful. He approaches our truck from my blind spot.
Excuse me, Miss. Do you have any spare change for the homeless?
It is in this moment too many things are pouring into my subconscious. Whether or not this man is homeless is insignificant. My children are watching.

I look down and notice a dollar in my console and hand it to the man. We shake hands through my window and he wishes God's blessings upon me. Emma immediately floods the cabin with questions.
Jesus wants us to treat every person we encounter as it were Him. I clarify. This man says he doesn't have a home, so we ought to take care of him.
But he is not Jesus, she fires back.
No, but we still need to treat every person with respect and compassion.

I find that no matter what the situation, my blessings have become my personal parrots. If I ask Emma to put the dogs into the kennel, she obediently yells at them to KENNEL UP! And continues to yell at them. Her voice can perfectly echo how I call each of the dogs by name. (It usually does not sound pleasant.)

On the contrary, I have been insistent that Emma & Jack assist in taking care of the home: clearing dishes, picking up toys. Recently at a church dinner, Jack enjoyed his brownie sundae. When he was finished, he quietly got down, excused himself past the Pastor's wife, and threw away his dishes.

Just a while ago, Roy & I shared a tender moment in our kitchen. Emma spotted us and instantly joined us in our huddle. With her small arms wrapped around our legs, she looked into our faces with pride and security.

Our children, placed in the care of us by our Creator, are constantly learning from our actions, regardless if we are saying anything or not. They will see how we treat and what we say about our spouses, our friends, our enemies, strangers in our community, and then, mimic us in our actions. It is in these reflections, I need to be committed to being transparent all the time and that my actions, even when unseen, glorify Him.

Beautiful

She thinks she is the most beautiful girl in the entire world, and I have to agree. Emma is standing in front of the mirror doting upon herself. She has covered in eyes in blue shadow, her lips glossy & pink. I have seen this look several times. Emma is proud & pleasing and she knows it.

Jack sits on the counter next to his charming sister, as he admires himself in the mirror. He waits patiently as I sculpt his faux hawk. He looks in admiration at his reflection.

My children are able to sing the words to Jesus Loves Me and sing the entire song wholeheartedly. Emma really believes that her God has made her the most beautiful princess. Jack watches her actions and in response, he thinks very highly of himself. I am in awe at their ability to love themselves.

When, in our years of growing, do we stop believing how special the Creator formed us? As Emma, Jack & Will mature, Roy & I will be committed to forming our blessings into respectable little beings, while pointing them to Christ, but also, continuing to reinforce to each how truly beautiful & unique God has created them.

A piece of his heart

Papa & Pappy are two of Jack's favorite people. They each have captured my son's heart and he is theirs. Though a few months ago, (his best friend) Noah's Grandpa stole a piece of Jack's heart. Every night since then, Jack prays for him. Here is this evening's prayer:

Dear God,
Thank you for... Grandpa.
Thank you for... Noah.
Thank you for... Noah's Grandpa.
Thank you for... Noah's Grandpa.
Thank you for... Noah's Grandpa.
Thank you for... Noah's Grandpa.
In Jesus' Name,
Thank you for all your help. Amen.

4896

I am snuggling in a king size bed with Emma, Jack, and Roy. The sheets are cold. The air is cool. Will is snoozing close in his pack and play. I am close to giddy. Everyone is trying to settle down, a little restless, a little goofy, and I am right there with them. I feel like a kid. We have traveled through six states together to get here to Missouri and I couldn't be more proud of my family. Success and pride and love wrapped up into the flannel sheets of Pappy's bed.

Reflecting, I am still proud and feel a sense of accomplishment. The Jerrolds clan has traveled the unthinkable- don't get me wrong, we had our truck, cushioned warmed seats, toted two DVD players, numerous tunes on our IPOD and the luxury of food (and Starbucks) on the go (no covered wagons here). There and back, we traveled 4896 miles, through 12 states, with three kids, one dog, and I think we did darn good!

Throughout our time away, Emma, Jack, Will, & Cooper ran in the pecan groves of Pappy's yard in Missouri. They threw leaves in the air in the small town of Portageville in Grandma's yard. We looked upon a herd of antelope grazing in the fields of Wyoming. We stood huddled together in the biting wind in the Painted Desert of Arizona. When our children would become too restless of riding endless hours in the truck, we could only play one praise song to calm them: Mighty to Save. It became such a testament to the scenes we saw- we saw our Savior's handiwork, whittled over plain, mountain, dessert, and high land. What an experience to share together as a family: as we traveled 4896 miles, we saw the created beauty of our Savior, the same Savior who poured out His blood to save each of us...

I can still smell Pappy's laundry detergent on Jack's pajamas. I nuzzle my nose into his arm and warm in my family's trip...

Our Newest Addition: Brendal

Thirty fingers, thirty toes

His diaper doesn't fit quite right, but it's not because we are neglectful. Will twists, turns, grunts, and pushes every time we change his diaper. The result is a fit that looks less than adequate. But that's the type of kid he's turning in to. He's joining his older siblings in spaz-land. At nap, he pulls my hair and laughs. He has joined the ranks and very loyal.

At Trader Joe's, I need two carts to tote the kids and the food. Roy and I tag team occasionally, making the trip shorter by locating our groceries on our own. Flying solo, I notice a lovely couple with one toddler. He's even sitting in one of those cloth seats to protect his innocence from the germs that cover the carts. (Will is chewing on a ball point pen.) He calls for his mom and she sweetly answers him. Her hair is pulled into a perfect ponytail, while her unfrizzed curls fall around her shoulder. I, on the other hand, am dodging my crazy ones. There are only two loose around the carts, but they seem to create more noise. I haven't showered in over a day & my baseball cap covers my third-day hair. I can't help but notice the family notice me, and my craziness.

There have been many mornings and nights, I have cried so hard my mascara has vanished. Feeling so overwhelmed by the three that surround me, I feel like I drown at least once a month. Too many little bodies to care for, as well as raise well. I don't know how I manage, except for calling on my Lord, begging Him to take over. I love that our children are goofy, weird, and sometimes out of control. Though at times, I am trampled by their parades.

All while pondering this, the next day, I watch Jack during the start to his nap. He doesn't know I am there in the door frame. He cocks his head as he turns each page of his book, pointing and singing the days of the week. I can't help but smile. He notices my lingering, smiles, and blows me a perfect kiss.

At bed, I read to the blessings. On my lap, sit three bottoms, thirty fingers, thirty toes. I no longer have the perfect trips to the grocery store, the peaceful play dates, or big quantities of one-on-one time with each of my blessings. I lose my sanity quite frequently, but today, I will gladly take what I have been given. Three bottoms, thirty fingers & thirty toes snuggled on my lap... How many people have the privilege of that?

Sunday Evening

I am pulling The Princess in her carriage. I am the horse. She sits in her buggy. The wind rubs my face, making my eyes water. The Princess sits cozy, safe, of course, next to Minnie and Tink. We pass brown children playing, black children shooting hoops. She sees no color, only smiles at their joy. We travel hill and mountain. She speaks every now and then, never uttering too much. She is content.

We return back to the castle and The Princess must warm her cold body in a hot bubble bath, accompanied by all her favorite friends. Hair dripping, body wet, she beckons my assistance. Dressed in the choicest of cloths, she joins her court for dinner.

We lay in bed and look at the stars. Their light invades our roof, creeping through the ceiling. Even though this happens every night, she is still in awe. We whisper love, gentle kisses, and small songs.

She is safe, warm and snug. I may attend to her beck and call, but she is mine.

A Pirate's Life for Me: I want it my way

Emma sits on the chair in the corner of the room. She is in the midst of a breakdown. Tears are streaking her face; I can't help but smile. She's playing pirates with her Daddy and he has just commandeered her pirate ship. He kneels across from her, desperately trying to explain it's part of the game. He's begging her to fight him back. She agrees and her pirates are temporarily successful. But as soon as she begins to battle, her ship is seized once again and Emma melts away to another breakdown. We try again to explain this is how you play... It doesn't always go your way...


Yesterday, our crazy dog had surgery. He has been in need of this procedure for some time now. We have put it off to save the money for it. But in the midst of the surgery, the doctor has found our crazy Cooper has a problem with his liver. After hearing this news, I fall back into my chair in the corner and complain. How can we handle financially to care for an ailing dog? But how could I look at him and my blessings and think of putting him down?


Later, I pick up Cooper with the three blessings, all are very excited & still very naive to possible impending doom. As we wait in the still truck for our young pup to rejoin our family, I admire a very large tree. It's leaves & arms begin to sway to the wind and then to the music that fills our cab. Come and see, look on this mystery, the LORD OF THE UNIVERSE, is nailed to a tree. Fernado Ortega, once again, reminds me of where my focus needs to be. Not on finances, not on our crazy dog, but on my Lord.

Moving on from the disappointment of the pirates, Emma has set up another train in our dining room. Many of her animals are on the Emma-express, myself included. She asks me to drive the train for awhile, but I am reluctant too. I tell her I am too scared to take over the train; I am really just lazy and don't want to get up and switch seats with her. She looks at me, with her stunning yellow eyes and her head tilted to the side, she gently reassures me:
It's ok, Mom. Do you want me to press the EASY button?

Yes! Yes! Please press the EASY button! Can we? With every worry that currently invades my small mind!

But there I go again... Drifting away from my focus on Christ. Life will just continue on; things will be constantly thrown at us. But... It is when my eyes are fixed upon my Savior, that is when everything else will fall into place. And then, I don't have to throw my fit in the corner when the pirates hijack my ship...

Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word. Psalm 119:37

October 2nd

She's been gone six years now and I can't say I am ever going to be over it. If you look close enough, you can still make out the scar that protects the deep wound. After she left, I sat at the window to the street, day after day, waiting her return. And she never did. The abandonment brought denial. The denial, pain & scorn. The scorn, anger. The anger, acceptance. The acceptance, forgiveness. And now, finally, with the forgiveness, healing.

For some time after she left, I ached so much, my heart broke. In her dismissal of this so-called friendship we shared, her selfishness finally brought me joy. It seems ironic. But when I surrendered to the pain of my loss, I was able to accept the many blessings that surrounded- they seemed to engulf me regardless if I wanted them to or not.

Today, I stand here watching my two oldest blessings squat and examine something close to the ground. They are so intent on examining and observing their new find. They squat and poke along side their very best friend; I get to stand and watch in peace next to one of mine. Had she not left, I would have never had the opportunity to form not one, but three beautiful friendships, all of which continually lift me up and point me to our Christ. Each of my sweet treasures encourages me, uplifts me, laughs with me in my successes, cries with me in my failures.

I still miss, will always miss her laughter. I will always be saddened that she will not, cannot ever enjoy my blessings and rejoice with me in their small lives. But my God works good in everything, even the bad. I take the pain, the healing. It spurs me to better things. My cup runneth over.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him,

who have been called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done,

the saving of many lives.

Genesis 50:20

Precious Blood

Come and see, look on this mystery the Lord of the universe, is nailed to the tree... Giver of mercy, giver of life... Sing to Jesus, His is the throne... We are His own... Sing for the love our God has shown...

There is something inspiring and stirring within the hymns and praises that Fernando Ortega sings. I have been listening and meditating with him constantly in my truck as I run to and from- so much so, my blessings are also following along with the melody & lyrics. As we praise our Risen Lord together, my God, my Creator, Emma's Father, is impressing upon her heart wonderful, deep questions. My Emma is seeking Him already! We have transitioned so quickly from telling Emma about Jesus, His Creation, His Love to the power of her Savior's blood, the sacrifice He made for her & her brothers!

Reflecting on these things in the stillness of the afternoon, the sweet noise that fills the downstairs is my Emma: sitting, working at the kitchen table, singing at the top of her lungs- There is power, power, wonder working power, in the Precious Blood of the Lamb. (She actually just churned on her imaginative congregation- ONE MORE TIME!)

It continues to be an honor to raise these blessings. But now, it is indescribable the legacy that we can leave our children- a strong, firm foundation built upon our Lord. It remains my utmost desire, the desire of my core, for my children to come to know my Father at an early age. It is my pleasure to participate in this journey with them as we seek Him together...

Keeper

It's taken at least an hour to get rid of my pounding headache this morning. The youngest of the blessings, who will affectionately be referred to as The Surprise for the duration of this blog, was up most of the evening, night, early morning screaming. His only comfort and solace was to nurse throughout the night, quite violently.

Later in the morning, I drive to my weekly Bible study, eager to just be there and learn. I am able to be renewed and refreshed every week. I gather there and I can be encouraged by women of wisdom. On the way, I pop in "Mommy's Song," also known as Sacred. My blessings know it almost by heart and sing it nearly perfect. This morning, again like the countless times I have relied on it before, it reminds me that My Father, the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, has named me Keeper of these little ones. Wow! What a title. What a job. I am Keeper of even The Surprise... Emma asks to hear it again and again. I have to nearly bite the inside of my lip the third time. I can no longer sing along. I am overcome with emotion, as I listen: Everything is sacred... Everything I've dreamed of, has been right before my eyes...

During Bible study, Will, oops, The Surprise, sits clinging to my chest in his sling. He is cranky (you, think?) and restless. I know he needs sleep. I bounce. I stand. And then, I sing the song I have sung to him for almost a year now: Oh, how He loves you and me... He doses off quickly, breathing into me, snuggling close and secure in his Keeper's and His Father's warmth. How quickly I have forgotten that my sweet Surprise is sacred. He, along with Emma and Jack, is what I longed for when Roy and I were first married. How desperately I wanted to quickly expand our family. Of course, I didn't think about the headaches, the heartaches, the sleep deprivation, the insanity at the time- but would I have proceeded? Probably not. But I am here now. This is my life. And the Lord God Almighty has made me there Keeper for this short brief time while they are young. What a task! What an honor! I will cling to this title today.

Our Lake

We are staying again at one of my favorite places (so far) on this earth. I actually call it mine, and quite proudly, maybe a little arrogantly, reminding my children many times that I share it with them. The fact is though, it is ours. That's the benefit of being children of The King...

Every moment my children walk through these surroundings is absolutely picturesque. No words or camera could ever capture the trueness of the moments here. Jack walks through the wood chips with his Dorothy on his shoulders, trees surrounding him on all sides, the air clear & brisk; Emma teaches her caught crawdads sweet tricks; Will army crawls everywhere through the dirt, eager to explore; I have to freeze these moments in my mind.

The Lake is cold, more so than usual. Returning to it's beaches, our hair whips every which way in the winds. It doesn't hinder the children from enjoying it's brilliance. Emma dons her bathing suit and teases the water's edge with her feet. Jack runs and throws rocks, watching each splash. Cooper even manages to visit the water with his front paws... Only Will huddles against my chest in the sling, occasionally looking up to see his family play.

We spend the afternoon hiking through the meadow and into the hill. The afternoon sun reveals thousands of bugs and lint from the top of the grass dancing through the sky. It looks like fairies frolicking among us. Birds swoop down to eat their dinner and dragonflies buzz by our heads. Auntie teases us, as we pause to capture the moment- we apparently resemble the Ingles... We head farther into the trees, Jack & Emma each carry their walking sticks and bags of treasures- pine cones, rocks, fallen pine needles. They watch their Uncle Ken in awe, as he breaks apart fallen trees with his feet. Jack kicks at the tree, with such a look of determination. Emma prods with her stick. They can remain in this space, prying at the tree for so long, we have to convince them to move on. Later Emma will beg her Papa to take hiking again! in the forest.

We are now huddled in bed, snuggled against each of our blessings for warmth. Their feet, knees, hands & faces have been scrubbed. Roy sings quietly off-key You are My Sunshine into Jack's fat head. In our very small space, I whisper into Emma's ear: What if we had to live in a place this small? She responds quickly: I wouldn't care at all! Neither would I...