Thirty fingers, thirty toes

His diaper doesn't fit quite right, but it's not because we are neglectful. Will twists, turns, grunts, and pushes every time we change his diaper. The result is a fit that looks less than adequate. But that's the type of kid he's turning in to. He's joining his older siblings in spaz-land. At nap, he pulls my hair and laughs. He has joined the ranks and very loyal.

At Trader Joe's, I need two carts to tote the kids and the food. Roy and I tag team occasionally, making the trip shorter by locating our groceries on our own. Flying solo, I notice a lovely couple with one toddler. He's even sitting in one of those cloth seats to protect his innocence from the germs that cover the carts. (Will is chewing on a ball point pen.) He calls for his mom and she sweetly answers him. Her hair is pulled into a perfect ponytail, while her unfrizzed curls fall around her shoulder. I, on the other hand, am dodging my crazy ones. There are only two loose around the carts, but they seem to create more noise. I haven't showered in over a day & my baseball cap covers my third-day hair. I can't help but notice the family notice me, and my craziness.

There have been many mornings and nights, I have cried so hard my mascara has vanished. Feeling so overwhelmed by the three that surround me, I feel like I drown at least once a month. Too many little bodies to care for, as well as raise well. I don't know how I manage, except for calling on my Lord, begging Him to take over. I love that our children are goofy, weird, and sometimes out of control. Though at times, I am trampled by their parades.

All while pondering this, the next day, I watch Jack during the start to his nap. He doesn't know I am there in the door frame. He cocks his head as he turns each page of his book, pointing and singing the days of the week. I can't help but smile. He notices my lingering, smiles, and blows me a perfect kiss.

At bed, I read to the blessings. On my lap, sit three bottoms, thirty fingers, thirty toes. I no longer have the perfect trips to the grocery store, the peaceful play dates, or big quantities of one-on-one time with each of my blessings. I lose my sanity quite frequently, but today, I will gladly take what I have been given. Three bottoms, thirty fingers & thirty toes snuggled on my lap... How many people have the privilege of that?