His Wings

It was when her world came crashing down, I first met Claudia. I found myself immediately on the ground, replaying instantaneously the noise of her face hitting the pavement. Emma hovered in the corner of the building behind me watching uncomfortably. Everything ceased as I stared into the face of this sweet older woman. Her eye scraped by the cement, her mouth already swollen and bleeding.

As unfortunate as the moment had been for Claudia, it was a perfect representation of a message I had learned just hours earlier: Huddled on the hay with Emma & Jack in our chicken class, I listen as our teacher reminds us that we are covered by His wings. She beautifully illustrates a mother hen, protecting her baby chicks who remain warmed and comforted by her wings & feathers. As much protection that this hen gives, her babies can still be snatched, with force, from her grip.

But with our God, no matter what in life crashes down, whatever we have to endure in the moments, whether physical hurt and discomfort, embarrassment, betrayal, and disappointment, we are covered by His Wings, where nothing can harm or destroy.

He will cover you with His feathers,
and under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
Psalm 91:4

Let everything that has breath (and gas!) praise the LORD

What She Gave

We are laying in bed and I am tearful. She asks about our "friend." We have learned about her by way of the internet. I have to tell Emma that our friend has gone to be with Jesus in heaven. Emma is awestruck. I tell her that earlier today, she looked like Jesus in her heart. Again, Emma is speechless- she thinks by my words mean that she has received her salvation. Now she is scared. Still too young, she thinks that as soon as she receives her Jesus' salvation, she will go to be with Him. I kiss her forehead and reassure her.

Early in the day, Emma is ready. She is anticipating what she has waited nearly a year for. She is eagerly waiting for her brothers to wake from their naps. She is ready to give her hair away. Almost a year ago, we sat together at the computer and researched. We looked at pictures of young girls without hair, we looked at young girls affected by this terrible cancer. And she wants to help.

On the way home, she is insistent to call one of her dear friends:

Sydney, I cut off my hair.
I cut my hair for a little girl who doesn't have any...
Yes, I did!
When you see me, you won't know me...
Want to tell your mom?

Emma is so proud. And rightly so, she has earned her joy. She has given up what many are hesitant too. And she didn't hesitate. She insists she will start the process again.

Celebrating Earth Day the Jerrolds Way

Woke up and ate breakfast together.
Got ready.
Donned lots of sunscreen.
Prepared to leave for our Earth Day field trip.
Unplugged the hot iron, for once.
Prayed holding hands,
with truck running.
Left the coffee pot on.
Drove 40 miles, in our truck,
over hills,
at 13 mpg,
to a local working farm.
Chatted with chickens and children.
Pulled rocks from the garden.
Use wood chips to build a pathway.
Climbed in and on the wood chips.
Cried because the wood chips invaded our shoes and poked our feet.
Drank water from plastic sippy cups.
Admired a baby drinking from a stainless steel sippy.
Headed toward home, with the air conditioning on.
Ate granola.
Drove through drive-thru.
Received five meals, in five consumable bags and five paper cups, with straws.
Gave the blessings apples.
Cleaned up spit out apple parts.
Traded apples for suckers.
Bathed dirty bodies in the middle of the day.
Wiped snotty noses with clean towels.
Dressed in new clothes.
Washed towels and dirty clothes.
Turned on the fan.
Napped.
With the fan on.
Made cottage cheese & spinach lasagna.
Blessings picked the basil for the bread.
Threw out the plastic toys for the day.
Drew silly faces on our chins, instead.

Blessings

I had my feelings hurt tonight by a stranger. Not uncommon for me, as I can get offended by a bad driver. But this time, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up in anger.
We are dining at a local Thai restaurant. I love taking my blessings out to try different ethnic foods and it has always been rewarding. Tonight the blessings are their usual selves- impulsive, giggly, playful... children. We get our usual stares from a group of two middle-aged women. But this time, they are more vocal about the presence of our children. They ask for their food to go, drawing attention to themselves, all while indicating that it is way too loud in restaurant.
Although my children are normal children, they are not unruly and disrespectful. How can they ever know that my Emma is so clever and brave, she will fight criminals by putting her fingers up her nose and blowing? And although, Jack's favorite word may be currently booty butt, he loves His God. He will sit later in the evening, begging to hear Mighty to Save, boldly singing the words: Savior, He can move the mountains, My GOD is mighty to Save... Will, despite that he is vocal about his wants, he can nurse a smile from anyone with his new-found sly looks.
Every morning of the week, we gather as a family of five to spend time at the throne of our Lord. We pray together, the blessings as much as Roy & I. We sing together praises to our King. We learn and recite His Word together.
These are my children. They may cause heads to turn, may turn a quiet evening into an unruly night, may be loud and playful, and may use inappropriate language at times. But, they are children. Children who love and seek after our God already. I am overwhelmingly impressed with the servants they are becoming.

Jesus called them back.
"Let these children alone. Don't get between them and me. These children are the kingdom's pride and joy. Luke 18:16

Change

In the last two days, Jack's head has changed dramatically. Yesterday, he awoke with a full head of hair. Hair that was so perfect and thick, sculpting a perfect faux-hawk was effortless. As the day wore on, it also unwound. Roy loaded up (moody) Jack & (crabby) Will, in a feeble attempt to go to Home Depot for some, well, Home Depot things. The perfect piece of bubble gum in Jack's mouth, apparently, became the perfect hair accessory. The truck veered quickly toward the barber shop, where the time was spent with razors and clippers, instead of measuring tape and wood.

Later, the entire house reeks with continual chaotic fits. Jack is sitting with his newly shaved head, shirtless, hands stuffed in his sweats, lounging back on the couch like a seasoned couch potato. All three children have made a day of complaining and whining, Will seasoned in the art, just as much as Emma and Jack.

A new day, a new morning rises and the outlook is good. Our family gathers for prayer. Emma asks to pray. She praises her God for creating her family. She boasts to Him that she loves us "so much." She thanks Him for being The Creator. And she doesn't forget to give thanks for His help.
Jack follows, thanking his God for all of his friends and his God's help.

It is in this small moment, gathered in our small kitchen, that I realize the enormity of the moment. As confusing and horrible as yesterday may have been, my children's lives change every day. As much work as it is, the metamorphosis that occurs within each of us, is so important. We are all molding our lives daily to follow our God.

Jack's head will eventually take on a new form, when he bumps his head on the steps of the play structure at the park. This time the shape of his forehead will enlarge at least two inches long, and will swell to his nose. His head will look as though the front of his skull has been reshaped.

If you stare long enough outside, you will catch sight of butterflies. They are new to this life of flight, as my blessings will watch in awe. We know the butterfly had a significant journey to becoming this new creature. But the journey stops with new wings. He will never again change into anything new.

We, however, continue to metamorphose. My children will give me chaos one morning, causing me to raise my hands up in agony. Then, the next, they will turn to their Creator and thank Him for being. What a blessing to be part of.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

My Gem

Emma,

I still cannot believe how much we packed into our day. Just the morning alone made up for a week's worth of activities! Jack had his gymnastics class, while you went to the Lego Engineering class. Gymnastics seemed so weird without you there. I kept looking over at your class expecting to see you catch my eyes. Jack was really hyper there today, his only motivation to finish the class was a lollipop he got from Luke for Valentine's.

After class, I dropped Jack off with Papa. In between preparing the Valentine's gifts for our party and preparing to leave to pick you up, I noticed that Brendal had pooped on the ground! Jack was worried at my tone- he was so close to stepping in it, he drug his feet through it! YUK!!! Then, after cleaning it, I walked through Brendal's pee. What an escapade just leaving to pick you up turned out to be. While I was driving, I called Michelle. I looked down at my hand and noticed Brendal's poop all over my hand! It was so gross, Emma! You would have been so grossed out! I screamed into Michelle's ear; I couldn't wipe my hands enough to get them clean.

Going to McDonald's was so rushed, but you and Jack were troopers so we could get to our Valentine's party on time. Jack and you were so excited! I can't believe how many times Jack went up and down that slide. There were so many kids; you had such a fun time. You enjoy yourself with your friends and your brothers. But it was there that I again saw what a precious gem you are. As we were leaving for the party room, you saw Noah running without Amy down the hall. You immediately went for him. And Talia needed her shoes on. You helped without being asked.

When we were swarming in the party room, the children buzzed all around us. The energy was so intense. I couldn't find Jack and another spotted him in front of the goodies. You left my side to help Jack get a cupcake, some other treats and seat him at the table with his friends. Then, you went to go stand back in line. I found you later here, as you were standing in line, looking at the empty plate where the cupcakes used to be. The room stopped. I could neither hear nor see anything but the look of disappointment that washed over your face. It was then, my heart broke. You wanted a cupcake so bad! I promised one later. And then, you moved on. I realize right now as I am writing this to you, my Daughter, my Love, that my heart will break over and over for you. You have amazed me many more times beyond this moment, but this is the one I will cement for you today. What a priveledge I have, that our Creator, has blessed me with. What an honor I have to call you my Daughter. You have a heart of gold, my Princess. You shine with compassion for others. You have made me proud.

I love you to the moon and back.

Mom

The Wedding

Jack is drunk on Diet Coke. He pulls his face as close as it can get to mine, and slurs his words, mumbling something about his Nana. He continues on, leaving my face, making ape-like movements and getting closer and closer to his new found playmate. The children are excited! They are in the midst of the wedding celebration that will reach us quickly tomorrow. They cannot contain their contagious joy.

It's only one o'clock, and Emma begs to wear her flower girl dress. She finally agrees to wait, and immediately gets to work. She helps Nana with the flowers, the bride's mother with the tables, and then she has disappeared. As soon as Amy has arrived, she has gone to be in her proximity. She has found her celebrity.

Emma can't stop spinning. It makes the bottom of her dress look like a lasso. She is on the stage of the Auditorium calling to the boys to dance with her. Later, she dances next to the speakers with her friends, then with her Nathan.

At the reception, Jack continues to search for Amy, enamored by her beauty. When he finally has his princess in his presence, he is insistent on stealing a kiss. Amy graciously leans downs. Jack stretches up his chin and plants one on her lips.
The day after, we are wrestling in our pajamas. Jack's laughter makes me laugh. I beg him to marry me and he immediately declines. Why? I insist. I am going to marry 'Net Amy he responds.

Parrots

We are rounding the corner of the driveway through Taco Bell. My window is down & the air is beautiful. He approaches our truck from my blind spot.
Excuse me, Miss. Do you have any spare change for the homeless?
It is in this moment too many things are pouring into my subconscious. Whether or not this man is homeless is insignificant. My children are watching.

I look down and notice a dollar in my console and hand it to the man. We shake hands through my window and he wishes God's blessings upon me. Emma immediately floods the cabin with questions.
Jesus wants us to treat every person we encounter as it were Him. I clarify. This man says he doesn't have a home, so we ought to take care of him.
But he is not Jesus, she fires back.
No, but we still need to treat every person with respect and compassion.

I find that no matter what the situation, my blessings have become my personal parrots. If I ask Emma to put the dogs into the kennel, she obediently yells at them to KENNEL UP! And continues to yell at them. Her voice can perfectly echo how I call each of the dogs by name. (It usually does not sound pleasant.)

On the contrary, I have been insistent that Emma & Jack assist in taking care of the home: clearing dishes, picking up toys. Recently at a church dinner, Jack enjoyed his brownie sundae. When he was finished, he quietly got down, excused himself past the Pastor's wife, and threw away his dishes.

Just a while ago, Roy & I shared a tender moment in our kitchen. Emma spotted us and instantly joined us in our huddle. With her small arms wrapped around our legs, she looked into our faces with pride and security.

Our children, placed in the care of us by our Creator, are constantly learning from our actions, regardless if we are saying anything or not. They will see how we treat and what we say about our spouses, our friends, our enemies, strangers in our community, and then, mimic us in our actions. It is in these reflections, I need to be committed to being transparent all the time and that my actions, even when unseen, glorify Him.