Just keep swimming...

We are driving down the 5, Finding Nemo, playing repeatedly in the backseat for Emma & Jack. The music from the movie is fluid and it stirs nostalgia. It's perfect. Emma repeats all the words to Nemo. Will keeps squealing with joy. He loves getting Jack to laugh. Jack starts to kick at the DVD player. The chapter on the movie skips back. Emma repeats the same line again. Jack kicks again. She starts to whine, pleading with him to stop. (Good feeling gone!)

We've been up since 5, packing up before the kids see the loaded truck. I awake Emma at 6. She immediately crawls out of bed asking for her toy iguana & informing me how she handles her morning eye boogers. Jack is slower to rise. He rubs his eyes, stretches continually and curls himself into my lap without mumbling a word. They have no idea (well, how could Will or Jack?) that we are on the way to Disneyland! (I must say I may be more excited! Celebrating my birthday this week, I warned Roy that he better not be pulling a quick one on me & going somewhere else, other than Disneyland!)

After eating lunch with the So Cal Smoaks (after we had traveled most of the 5 & through the arduous Grapevine), Emma asks where we are off too. She begs to see her special Joanney. I ask her if it's ok to visit her Uncle Papa & Aunt Grammy, who live in Orange County. But it's so far away! she whines. (Where does she think we have been driving to the past many hours? And why???) After we convince her we are close, she agrees & is very excited! Still, she remains clueless. But she is excited, nonetheless! She has informed the truck passengers that she has just tooted out her butt-crack.

So now the blessings are quiet, in foreign, but comfy beds, made with love. Emma anticipates seeing Auntie Grammy & Uncle Papa tomorrow. Roy & I look forward to be able to continue to surprise them...

Pride- A good kind

What I wish for my kids is that each of them would grow up to love & serve our Lord. If I succeed at anything as a parent, it's that Emma, Jack & Will have been moved in this direction and that their love for our Father would be their own.
Sitting down at breakfast recently, Roy & I began to eat. Quickly Jack started saying, "Amy, Noah, Amy, Daddy, Sissy, Amy..." We realized in that instant was Jack was praying before he began to eat, thanking God for his special people.
This weekend, we had the pleasure of returning to my childhood church. It was surreal to have Emma meet and shake hands with the same woman who taught me in Sunday School when I was Emma's age. She didn't seem to understand how fantastic the moment was, but it didn't pass me by. When Emma's aunt retrieved her from the small group class at the church that morning, the teacher was impressed at Emma's knowledge of the Bible & it's stories. Once again- Don't blink... My chest fills and puffs out. I am completely and totally proud of these moments!
As each of the blessings grow, may it be that there is never a time that they look back upon and don't know how much, how indescribably great is His love for us, for each of them. The greatest compliment I could ever receive as a parent is that my children know & share their Heavenly Father's love, and that wherever life may lead them, they serve Him wholeheartedly.

Bandaid

Emma's face is red. Tears have stained her face and her fit continues. She is upset because she has to wear shorts. She wants desperately to wear a dress & be the prettiest. I do my best to explain she is gorgeous just as the other little girl is gorgeous too. God made each of them beautiful...
I have picked out her outfit today. Emma has been given new clothes once again yet she insists on wearing the same thing over and over. I know, I know, this really shouldn't be a battle, but right now Roy & I have been trying to teach her to be gracious for what she has been given. We are trying to teach her to not take for granted all the clothes she has & not waste what has been given to her. These lessons sure make her mad.
Dang-it! she screams, as her foot pounds on the floor. (Do I actually say Dang-it! Where has she heard that?) She clings to my neck and holds tight. Her body folds to the carpet. But I love you, Mom! she whines.
Now- right here is the quick sweet moment. (Don't blink.) Jack enters. Pacifier in his mouth. Already dressed in his shorts, wearing his bold mohawk. Here, sissy, he says through the sides of his pacifier. He hands her a bandaid. A Spiderman bandaid to fix where she is hurting & sad. A small gift for his princess. My heart melts and swells with pride all in the same instant. I am waiting for Emma to reciprocate the love and drop her bad attitude.
Moment over. But I don't like Spiderman! she whines.
Oy vey..

Precious Eminism

"That little girl that will get my hair- We will be twins!"
- Emma's thoughts after deciding to grow her hair out and donate it to Locks of Love

Savage

Portrait of a Silly Family

I love framing Emma's artwork. It's a great way to share my love for her and affirm her work and creativity. Here is a family portrait she did of our clan. I cut out random eyes, noses, & mouths from a magazine. Emma pasted faces together using the facial parts & created this scary, but wonderful family portrait! (Thank you Preschooler's Busy Book!) At first, she had a difficult time with the mismatched features, but slowly got into the creation.

Eminism

Your hair looks freaky, Mom?
-Emma, in response to viewing my Senior Ball picture

Quirks

I have been really trying the last few days, weeks to be more carefree regardless of the constant mess of my home. There are constant dog tracks on our floor, no matter how many times I may mop (or not). There are always fingerprints, paw prints on the back sliding door. Jack throws his food at the end of every meal, though with flare every time. Emma has piles in nearly every room of animals congregating discussing Narnia, battles, and other important matters.

Even though the messes remain, I have decided to sit more, enjoy them more, laugh more with them, craft more, chase them more. It's allowed me to open my eyes and appreciate each of my kids' unique quirks.

Emma loves to create things with her toys- piles, groups. She loves to decorate our trees, hang her animals from our blind strings and is very proud of each creation. Jack is insistent on taking odd things to bed. For instance last night, he took to bed his hanger, one of his sandals, and a red barn. Will kicks with every muscle in his body quickly every time he gets excited. And Cooper (how can I leave him out?) runs rapidly in circles when he is happy (which brings Emma & Jack to giggles).

Each moment, each quirk is precious and once again my cup spills over as I ponder each little blessing.

Strawberries

Craftiness

I am not crafty or creative. I have never claimed to be. I liked (past tense) to scrapbook pre-multiple children in my life. Even then, my pages were simple & usually consisted of someone else's crafty ideas.

Lately, I have been inspired to do more crafty sorts of things with the kids. My girlfriend's sister has a blog page where I found two great books that really help out the layperson like myself... (Her website is plumpudding- check it out when you get some time.) The Toddler's Busy Book & The Preschooler's Busy Book contain quick & easy crafts you can do with supplies usually found at your home. I was able to purchase them off of amazon.com for around $3 each.

Between these books and other idea's I see on Megan's page, I feel we get more family quality time together, as well as allow my kids to be creative in alternative ways. Sitting down with my children and working on our projects actually slow me down and inspire me to leave the clothes unfolded and the dishes dirty. Jack actually now goes over to the craft cupboard (YES! I have one now!) and begs to paint! My home remains messy today, but it is a pleasure to sit down with Emma & Jack and make mad creative messes together! So here is a great picture of one of first attempts at this venture. We made Grandma's candy from Megan's recipe. Emma loved making it, eating it, and sharing it with her girlfriend.

Every home needs a dog: Part Cooper

Running in circles with bones in mouth.
Running in circles with his elephant.
Running in circles with his kids chasing him.
Running in circles with no one chasing him.
Running in circles on the grass.
Digging in the grass.
Digging in the dirt.
Digging in his bed.
Chewing up fence posts.
Chewing up garden vegetables.
Chewing up his kids' toys.
Sliding across the floor.
Relentless putrid gas. In the middle of the night. Without warning.
Terrorizing cats.
Terrorizing the neighborhood with Cinco.
Not minding being terrorized by the little ones.
Not knowing his own size, posing as a lap dog.
Loving his kids.
Loving his family.

Vulnerable

God bless the employees of Taco Bell! Really, if you have seen my early posts, you understand my love for this fast food chain.

Amy & I took the little ones there after a visit to the farms today and decided to get their place dirty with our grubby hands and dirty jeans, instead of mine... All of the blessings were unusually crazy. Sometimes I feel so bad for my kids. I feel when they get this way (crazy), it's really a misrepresentation of how great they really are. But this afternoon, like I stated, they were crazy. Jack & Noah were taking turns (how thoughtful) hitting each other on the head, all while running back & forth on the bench. Emma was whining desperately asking for an infamous Taco Bell toy. I just need a penny, Mom! Will was actually squealing in between bites of food, getting his two cents in as much as he could. Noah threw Jack's paci across the restaurant. Jack pulled the lid off of his shared drink, with his teeth, spilling lemonade all over the bench, Emma, & my pulled straight hair! He had also taken to sticking his nacho cheese container (filled with cheese) to his chin. Jack & Noah managed in the midst of these moments to climb UP on the top of the booth and start stomping, as Noah hits a sippy cup across the table, hitting another drink, caught by Amy, and Jack looses the suction of his nacho cheese cup, spilling a combination of slobber and cheese all over the back of the booth and seat. Emma asked at the top of her voice: Did he just vomit??? See, crazy. Misrepresented. If another parent at this moment would have looked upon this scene, it would have been with a disapproving glare. (Ben was the only blessing behaving himself.)

To be completely honest, even though they can be frustrating, I love these times. Besides making for good stories, they humble me. They keep me real, honest with myself, and make me laugh. They happen every day, whether at the library where we are surrounded by what appears to be sedated children reading politely with their mothers or working on quiet puzzles, while Jack pulls every puzzle piece off the table & tosses them on the ground while darting around pulling books off the shelf and Emma sits at the computer, headphones on, screaming for help or while we are driving around town with our windows down, while Emma & Jack clap and sing to Maroon 5. Wake up call, caught you in the morning with another one in my bed... He won't come around here anymore... Six foot tall came without a warning so I had to shot him dead... Nice.

These are actually the times that I think that make us so vulnerable as parents. To actually admit that Emma knows the words that Adam Levine sings: No, I won't go home without you is quite embarrassing. To admit that Amy & I actually looked at each other and laughed many times this afternoon at Taco Bell is crazy. But real.

Every home needs a girl: Part Emma

Not really waking up until her morning Chocolate Milk.
Naming every nameable toy Etta.
Playing with her animals.
And her belly button. (Not at the same time.)
Elephants. Elephants. Elephants.
Purple.
Elephants.
Somersaults. Handstands. Strong calves. Strong quads. Strong will.
Loving her Jack and her Will.
Being the mother hen to every child younger than her strong age of 4.
Read to me.
Bake with me.
Play with me.
Chase me Daddy! I bet you can't get me!
Wrestling with Jack.
Sincere gifts taken from nature given with love.
Loving the site of blood, just not her own.
Loving shots from the doctor, just not to her.
Headbands.
Dressing herself. Yes, that matches, Momma!
Twirly dresses.
Dancing to music.
Dancing to sunlight.
Dancing to her own song.
Vibrato singing.
Laughing through teeth.
Great gas. All the time. Very proud.
Building gardens.
Exploring every bug.
Making friends with snails. Hugging caterpillars too tight.
Wearing dresses & running through dirt.
Hiding Mommy's kisses in her hands.
Loving her Jesus & singing of His Love.
Daddy's little girl.
Having her great grandmother's expressions, Grandma's looks, Daddy's nose, Mommy's eyes.
Having my heart.

Last Man Standing

I am the last man standing. Waiting, with my heart pounding in my shirt in this stand off with the flu. I wait in the fog, my over washed & cracked hands clinging tightly to Lysol spray & Clorox wipes.

It started on Monday: Sweet Prince Jack was sick! It's his first time ever with the flu... It broke my heart. He continued to be such a good sport. When I put him to bed Monday evening, after changing his sheets for the fourth time that day, I put my hand on his head & began to pray to our LORD to heal my prince quickly & give us all the endurance to make it through this messy day. In the midst of my prayer, Jack begins to thank his LORD for his friends: Noah, Amy... What a sweet lesson!

Then Princess Emma got hit Tuesday (Wow, Mom! That time when I vomited, I didn't even get it on my pajama's!). And Roy on Wednesday, followed by Jack again Wednesday afternoon. We finally had to take Jack into the pediatric clinic Wednesday night for fear of dehydration. Roy & Emma have gotten over the sickness, but Jack continues to battle it.

My washing machine seems to be constantly running and my hallway is filled with piles of sorted laundry. Our nights consist of small naps here & there. Our Dial soap is actually running low from constantly washing our hands. The neglected floor is covered in dust & Cooper's hair.

Throughout the week, thoughts of the scene from Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood flash through my head: Vivi has been wakened by her daughter Sidda, to discover that every child in the home is covered in vomit & fecal matter. Vivi is outraged that her husband is not home to help with the putrid mess. On the contrary, this week, has been so edifying to my family. This disgusting week has proved to be one of our finest, pulling together with support, love & clean up duty. (I am also convinced by this week that the Dugger family must have a quarantine room for the ill!)

This week has marked the first night in Jerrolds history, our entire family crammed into Roy's & my bedroom- Will tented in a sheet over his pack and play, with the humidifier; Emma sleeps in a bed of couch cushions on the floor, speaking in "whale"; Jack lays between us in our bed, his fetish with hair, pulling out my mine by the handfuls; Cooper whines most of the early night due to neglect from most of the week. But they are precious moments...

As bad as this week got, we actually were able to spend some great quality time together as a family. We watched Finding Nemo & Toy Story 2 over and over. We cuddled together on the couch. We looked at the growth of our garden fruits & vegetables. We ate popsicles in a tent set up outside. We spent less money, ran around less, wore pajamas and sweats, with our hair unkempt.

I may be the last man standing here, but I have the support of my posse and that makes me a proud wife & momma!