Hey! I've seen a boat!

I didn't intend to, but I drove all the way from my house to Target today with Emma's backpack on my truck bed cover. Do you know how far that is? 3.9 miles. I mapped it out, because I was quite impressed with this accomplishment. I don't recall becoming absent minded, it just seems to have happened slowly over time.

I didn't even realize the backpack was taking a ride with us until another mom caught us at the light and graciously told us about our illegal immigrant. (And I put it there!) I just looked at her, and honestly told her: I'm crazy. She actually nodded her head with compassion as we shared the moment and the instant connection.

I can't even focus as I write this down for selfish purposes. (Because someday, that I can foretell being very soon, I may no longer even begin to make sense- wait has that already happened? READER: Do not respond.)

So, back to not focusing... During the day, I am almost as aimless as Jack, I am just more refined. I move from room to room reeking havoc on the messes, trying to bring order to the destruction but with every step, how easily I become distracted. Even now typing this, I gaze off at Roy, so peacefully sleeping, and I think: Will he wake if I pinch that small blackhead on his back?

How did I get here? Will I ever think, act, do the intelligence thing again? And moreover, how can I go through an entire day and not feel like I have accomplished one single task? I know, taking care of my children is an accomplishment, but there are days I just crave to feel like I have contributed more.

So these are my crazy thoughts. I guess the first step is admitting I am crazy, forgetful, overwhelmed & unaccomplished.

I don't think I have ever eaten a fish... Gee, it feels really good to get THAT off my chest...